I HATE YOU!!!

Tell me why I felt for his lies AGAIN!!!! How was I so dumb to believe he wanted to be with me?? He is so happy with her, even though the fight everyday. I don't get why he had to lie to me. Did I know he was lying and just let him do it so that I felt the warmth of his kisses and smoothness of his touch. Was I that lonely that I knew it was a lie but I didn't care to see what was in front of me.
I just can't believe I let him walk all over my heart. He knows what he does to me, how I can't say no to him even though that has to change right now.. Because this habit needs and has to stop now because my heart can't take anymore of this, the lies and the hearing then fighting from now he is no one to me I just can't believe I never really knew this guy I had known for 2 years. I was 18 when I met him on a Friday night, the premier night of Spider-Man 2 June something I think it was June 2 . I remember it like it was yesterday he looked so good and so sleepy , he looked like a slimmer Dave Mira with a cross of like the guy that sign in Fort Minor and he looked so good. He had all these tattoos and piercings that just drove me crazy from far ways and once I had a taste I was hooked and I wanted and needed more of him. I wanted to kiss and be a part of every little inch of him. He was so complex and always kept me hanging on a string. He never really wanted to be my boyfriend and he made it very clear.
Yet I stuck around, I stuck around to when he left for Texas for some "famiy issues" and came back with a fiance. I stuck around till the had problems are were done. I stuck around till he was "ready" for a new relationship. So I had a fling with one his friends and came back to him and then he left me again for his fiance because she needed help a family member just died. And know they fight like cats and dogs and I can't stand it because now I live on the floor above them.
Just my Luck right! I kinda asked for this I knew that before I moved in I just didn't know every time they fought he was gonna come running into my arms and make me feel like shit. And I didn't know I was gonna have to hear every fighm for intended to be the other woman in his life I intended on being the only woman in his life to own his heart to feel his real love not just pieces. Now with a broken heart and brused ego. I walk away from him and hopefully I can be strong enough to stay away from him.

There is a very good song from Destiny's Child Destiny fufilled CD Bad Habit... " I toldmyself I would make some changes, but the more I change there is one thing that remains the same... I can't seem to shake you, you seem to really have a hold on me. And every time we break up we turn around and make up, this can't go on I gotta move on. It's not the fact that I don't love you no more but I have to break this bad habit, can't take this bad habit no more.