Out of world experience...

Ok so it's been three months since the only man that i think i will ever love left this planet. my grandfather left us with soo many questions on un answered and i don't tknow how to find closuer. this weekend was his mass for the 3 months that he was been gone and the whole week leading up to it i have felt like i have to cry and i haven't yet so i still like i should. on the other hand i think i finally found someone that might do me some good if he ever returns my phone call or a txt msg, about ready to give up on that too.. but back to my out of world experience.

so i have been feeling like my grandfather has been with me like his spirit has been in my house and in my room and with me like not just like in my mind like i've felt someone's touch on my back last night and trust me i was alone. so i was laying in bed listening to my ipod to alex rivas en vivo or whatever and feeling very un sure of what i was feeling at moment in time i felt like i was empty mostly because i had been talkin to karla and tellin her how i might hang out with jason tonight but i dont think that is goin to happend well simply because he hasnt called to say what we will be or might be doing. so im guessin we are not doin anything tonight so movin on.

so i was layin in bed listening to alex rivas feeling bad and it was la pava that was playing and i was like damn i want one more dance with papa. for him to dance with me but not like how we dance but how he learned to dance to spin me around the whole entire dance floor for it be a never ending dance.. but i turn to my side and my shirt is like pressed to my skin and all of the sudden i feel like the warmth of a hand on my left shoulder and it goes across my back to my right shoulder moves my shirt some and i was to afraid to see if i saw anyone but i knew there was no one there i knew these.. i went to bed alone.. so i put everything out my mind i did my best to fall asleep so i honestly dont know if he was there or if i making up... but now im reallly going to have to go see someone that speaks to the dead to tell me if he is with me cuz if he is i want to answer i few questions for me i need to answered so that i feel complete closure and maybe feel like the whole in my heart isnt as big as it really is. but now everyone things im crazy im signing off
love
nataly