Conversations with the FAT GIRL!!!

Im so in love with this book i havent been able to put it down since i started reading it Karla let me borrow it on sunday and every chance i get i read it im on chater 23 and i cant help but think why i like it so much.. but oh well just wanted to let everyone know that Converstations with the Fat Girl is great book..

OOO and i met someone his name is Sean.

Some Times u gotta hate ur horoscope

Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Leo (Jul 23 - Aug 22)
Even if you appear ready to roll with the incoming waves of change, you may feel more stuck than others realize. Your perspective is based on your feelings now, so your irrational opinions are not up for negotiation. You know what you feel and that's that. Your willingness to discuss the origins of your emotions, however, can transform a challenging day into a most positive experience.

What the hell does that mean???

Thanks to the transit of the sun, your ruling planet, into fiery Sagittarius, you are likely to be a larger than life presence today. Bluntness will be your main problem, as you won’t be able to help blurting things out! Great if your friends ask for an honest opinion, but watch how you are with your boss or your teachers!


now this one has nothing to do with the first one so which is on is it???

OHH WONDERFULL DAY... NOT!!!

Ok you know its going to be a bad day when ur alarm clock skips a head an hour and u wake up way way way earlier than what u were supposed tooo. well that is how my day started. on the way to work i kept remembering the day that papa died and what i did first and how the rest of that day played out all of it i remember it like if i was standing outside a window and re livin that horrible day and this whole time.. i was thinking to myself is today the 22nd and yes it was its have been 4 months to the day that we lost our rock.. so im already sad when i get to work and find my father there.. im not in the mood for his controling ways today and of course that is how the day starts at work he wants me to write an email for him so i do so far nothing to bad and then he stars with his i need and this and this.. and its like it 7 in the morning i ve been up for way too long and it ways too early in the morning for u to start barking orders at me..but whatever i go on doing what im doing they way i want to cuz well im sad and i dont feel like doing much.. i look over at my desk and there are piles and piles of papers and im like why is my desk the dirtiest one oo i know i do everyones work plus mine.. but im salary so it really doesnt matter that i feel like shit and i dont want to be here i have put a smile on and pretend that i want to be here. so then whatever he starts checking the orders that are about to go out and he is like wait we have this and this and this why isnt it on the invoice or they order.. i was like maybe cuz it was done 6 pm and everyone here wanted to go home and honestly didnt feel like looking to through the mess that is our warehouse just a thought.. i never actually said this to him cuz well he is my father and my mom has told me that i need to stop taking my anger that i hold in from work at him but it soo hard to do when is one of the main reasons why i need to lash out on someone.. but i resisnting every urge i have to just go nuts and let him have it.. i still havent i just roll my eyes and pretend i dont hear him.. and then he asks me when he can make an appointment to get my brakes and oil changed and i was like well since im paying for ur daughter cell phone and well she decided she wanted to talk up a strom this month i dont know when.. he goes ur mother and i will be helping you with that bill and i was like ok well i dont know cuz i would like to buy some xmas gifts and he like dont be stupid and waste ur money on gifts... and i was just like since it doesnt look like im gettin my bonus for work and i dont think ill be able to afford anything really.. and he was like u will get ur bonus i was like no im not its not gonna happen.. so i guess this xmas will be a sad one for me.. i always get such a joy from giving people something i know they want or that they may need and i wont get to this year and it sucks!!! its bad enough that my dad still feels like he needs to control every part of my life even though i dont live with him any more i made the choice to leave and yes im struggeling a lil bit but its part of life for him to make me cry over the silliest thing like not being able to buy gifts its stupid and i cant believe he made me cry over that... and its almost like he wants to see what a mistake im making for leavin his house but i dont regret it and finally finding me and what i want and what i need with him tryin to control everything even though he does.. so know i feel like i need to cry some more and want to be alone for a while.. sorry everyone but i wont be having xmas glow or glee my father just stole xmas from me..

the emptiness

the emptiness that is my love life.. i keep thinking that maybe i was wanting too much out of jason to fast and i ended up losing him for good and then i keep thinkin maybe he used to like me and then when he got to know me better he got freaked out cuz im alot to take sometimes.
i havent seen him since like his halloween party and now that him a joe dont work together i dont know if we will be attending his new years party would be just weird cuz i would want to get my kiss at midnight and well i dont know if that would be just pushing the envelope.. but this are just my thoughts.. im leaving blogger now cuz i just post 3 in a row and im little drained and i think i just confused myself.. love and kisses

The holidays

Speaking of the holidays i must say im kinda not looking forward to thanksgiving... we all know i dont get along with xavier and i really dont want to break bread with the fucker. but i kinda feel like obigated to cuz of all that has happend this year losing papa and me leaving my parents house. i almost feel like i owe something to my family for becoming the bad seed of all the younger girls. leaving before i was married and like not leaving cuz im going to school or anything like that.. i really dont want to break bread with him especially since everytime i come near his stupid wife i apperently always do something to her and i really do want to do something to her but it doesnt mean that i have.. i have controlled every implose to push her down the stairs to make her eat Foxxies poop or to chop her hair off. i consider her theift that she deserves to have her hand chopped off for taking what was not hers.. (fyi she is a doctor..right) if she is doctor im the next bill gates. or the dominican oprah..

but im looking forward to xmas cuz it will be joe and mine first xmas together in our apartment together and their isnt anything cooler than that... we got out first inviation to and event together and i kinda wish like i want to frame it to like savor that moment for like forever... God im just weird.. oh well... my 4 love me.. that is all that matters..

The strans in your eyes they color them wonderful, stop me and steal my breath... Edwin mcCain

so like any cold day i sit here at work and day dream cuz their isnt much of anything going on right now. Even though if everyone was here i would be on my mission getting this place ready for the wonderful holiday season that is upon us.
on caros page she posted about her boss got married and how she was day dreaming of her wedding. that got me thinkin about my wedding how it seems like it will never happen i cant seem to keep a guy interested in me for more than a week especially when im tryin to be good and not sleep with him right away.. go me on that point cuz it takes alot for me (horn ball that im) to not have sex with someone right away especially when i havent gotten any in a while. but anyways movin on so as i was sayin it doesnt seem like it is ever goin to happen.. i day dream alot about the future if how it will ever happen.
"pideme murir y morire.. pideme una estrella y te la alcanzare, pideme una fuga de sonrias y en una sigfonia te las cantare" milly quesada y fernando villanola
i can see us 5 chillin with karina and her soon to be newborn baby girl with our kids.. much much later in life. doing the whole weekend at so and so's place while the kids play and we catch up on our lives.. i see like me and karla and caro and ours boys wives doing the whole planning ahead to xmas parties and ins and out of what our kids wants. being each others comadres dish out on the family and the gossip of hollywood. like we do now only with 2 new best friends the kinds that will never get sick of having us over or goin to dinner like we the TF5 do now.. Only the new and imporved TF10 plus kids..
" Hoy en vuelto encontrarla, despues de tanto tiempo, fue dificil ayarla." Joseph Fonseca
Ok this kinda creepy i have my ipod on shuffle in it kinda going along with what im writing so that is the weird song phrases.

I never thought that i would want the whole like comadre deal with all my cousins and stuff but over the last few years i coudlnt see my life without them in it every sec possible.. i also cant see us living to far away from each other cuz now even that caro is away at school we talk all the time whether it is like online or by phone.. our husband would kill us if we were to far away frome each other we probably never get off the phone cuz like i think we would be the kind of the girls that would call the sec our kids did somethin great and amazing that kids do.. like first steps.. i know caro would have a camera in hand the sec that happens to any one of her kids.
" anda ve a decirle que estoy sufriendo, dile que no puedo con las venas." Alex Bueno
and we would get them in emails that very hour. i love my caro thats is for sure..
we are all so family oriented that i couldnt see us not having kids and being happy with who we decide to be with for the rest of our lives.
i can see us doing like a group pic of our kids for like xmas cards to send out to the rest of the family. stealing a page out of our older cousins book but hey!
but their is no one else i want in life for like the rest of forever than Caro, Karla, Gabe and Joe. and i know that whenever anyone of us get married it will be to someone that fits perfectly with each other like we do. it will just be like our lil joke grows into a more like our own lil family click if you may
"no te cambio por nada, no, no ,no no te cambio por nada, y por un viaje a figi." Ricardo Arjona

God how he loved his Merengue Ripiao

With his Brother


My Parents with the Greats Man that Ever Lived!!



With His Kids

With His Brother and Sisters



Mi Viejo con Mama y sus Nietos.. Algunos Faltamos
Mi Viejo

"Viejo, Mi Querido Viejo, Yo soy tu sangre mi Viejo, Yo Soy tu sangre mi Viejo" Frank Reyes

Today, is NOV. 10th its not just any friday, its not just another day at work. Today is my Viejos birthday!!! The first one with out him, I fell like the breath is being taken out of me with each minutes that passes by. On a day like today, we all would have taken our turns calling him, wishing a happy birthday checking on how he was feeling and when was his next trip to la hacienda. I remember his 90th birthday like it was yesterday. It was so HOT that day. It was 8/8/04 it was also my sister 14th birhtday.. I was wearing a black blackless dress with pink stripe along the edges. We made a point to try to and be there. But now today fells like it will never end i know that he gone i know it cuz i saw him in coffin i touched him i know he is never gonna come back to me to be with my on the events like these. I miss him so.. Caro wrote about when we arrived at the house with him and that was one of the most difficult days of my life and i thank god every day that i had caro there so we had each other to hold ourselves up.. but i can't the image of the aunts and uncles at the funeral home in NYC. The priest asked to make a semi circle in front of my grandfather and that was one the moments were i lost at the funeral another one was when he was telling us how papa was so proud of the picture from my madrina's party were his kids minus were together and happy. I miss him sooo much it hurts how much i miss him.. last night as i was trying to get some sleep i felt my body so heavy with pain, i couldn't bear the pain no way of layin was comfortable. I hope that he is looking down on me as i wish him a happy birthday! and that someday i will be with him again.

Papa Te quiero y te extraño cada dia mas! Espero que me estes viendo de donde estes y que tu sepas que te quiero mucho y que no hay un dia que no pienso en ti. En tus bromas tu risa y que la vida no es vida sin ti. Te mando besos y abrasos hoy que es tu dia, Mi querido Viejo.